Hangover

Yesterday, i woke up with a headache, feeling heavy and with a dry mouth. Was it really a hangover or just because i slept at 3am and had to wake up at 7:30am to take the car outside the garage for the reason that there's an ongoing house repair? I don't really know. But yes, i had a drinking spree with four of my best male buddies.

It has been a long time since i had a real drink with real fun. And that means more than 2 bottles of beer and 6 hours of deafening laughter. No problems discussed, no serious heart to heart talk, just plain good time (and basagan ng pagkatao). When i enrolled in law school, my life drastically changed. Of course i met very good friends in school. we try to find time to have fun,but the pressure was always there. For five years I only held 4 things--pen,paper,books, and steering wheel. Not to mention the syringe, medicines, tens machine, and sphygmanomometer last year(did i spell it right?). I'm not saying that i have always been an angel to my parents, i've been adventurous a couple of times too. Those close to me definitely know what i had given up. Yes, papa is healthy again, yet, things didn't work out for my other plans (damn those tears!)...

So when Mama started texting me at 12mn ordering me to come home in the midst of the roaring laughter, i had to choose between the always obedient me and the "i'm tired of missing all the fun" me. As my cellphone's battery drained, i took it as a sign. For the first time I was not panic-stricken with that "Anna Eloisa uwi na" message...Yeah, i became a bad example to the youngsters. i have always been a good daughter but 6 hours of laughter?! it was definitely worth it. She wasn't mad really, just that the thought that i'm the only female in the group is still kind of unacceptable for her...

I still have the hangover...the smile has not left my face...hangover from the fun i have had with my friends :)

**Date: June 7, 2005 from my Friendster blog. The very first blog I've written.

The (Fading) American Dream

Last night while i was washing some cups, Kris, my cousin, asked me if i'm okay. Naturally, i said yes, but i realized that he wouldn't ask me that unless he noticed something. He said i look sad...

It has been a week since i left Ninoy Aquino International Airport and arrived at Tom Bradley  International Airport. I am always excited for travel plans whether local or abroad, but this one is different. This is the first time that i had a heavy luggage as well as a heavy heart. To some, it is a dream come true, they  call it "the American Dream", but for me...I really don't know. I will not deny that I had that dream once but when i got here, my eyes saw what i failed to see when i was here years ago. Then, it was just rides and buying souvenir items at Disneyland and Universal Studios, slot machines at Las Vegas, a walk on the Waikiki Beach, and a ferry boat ride around Alcatraz. Now, it's the travel time from one place to another, spending less or not spending at all, how to speak the way the Americans could understand you or even getting used to the Mexican accent.

I am here not to be an illegal worker. Like what Jay-R said in his interview with YES! Magazine, "you have to leave home to grow." I read that during my dilemma, and it is one of the signs that i took. For almost three decades, i lived a life of standards, i guess now is the time to break away with the standards but still maintain moral and social acceptability. Of course i still want to give my parents a comfortable and worry-less if not worry-free life. At least now i could still do that and think more about myself at the same time.

Five months is still 5 months. What might happen tomorrow could change my life forever, but as of now, one thing's for sure, even if the INS would give me an E-1-1 or O visa,i'll be home for Christmas...

**From my Friendster blog written July 19, 2005. This was when I decided I needed some soul searching and stayed in the U.S. for five months.

Never ..Love..Yet

After blogging for almost a year and non-stop questions from people about my "civil status", I realized it has really been a long time since I have thought about love. Have I gone so bato? Is Cathy right that I might have become a man-hater?

For several years, my life has undergone a series of unfortunate events. Therefore I cannot be blamed for rolling my eyes (discreetly) when someone incessantly whines about her problems about not having found "The One" yet, or which one among her ex-boylets could be branded "The One Who Got Away". Don't get me wrong, I am always willing to listen, but please don't make it sound that you have such a miserable and lonely life and that your problems are much bigger than mine.

Sheltered? Nuh-uh. I am constantly exposed to varying personalities of men and their (evil) deeds, intentional or not, and these have inflicted me fear and pain. Sadly, I am more inclined to pessimism now. But I still get kilig naman. Sometimes jologs pa. In fact, the love triangle among  King Junghong, Sir Min, and Jang Geum made me smile hehe...

When you love, you become more susceptible to pain. And when you're in pain, sometimes emotion takes over your logic. But of course, it's all about taking risk. BUT I STAND FIRM, with this still very blurry path towards my future, the risk of falling in love is at the bottom of list or perhaps, it's not even there yet.

So, have I gone bato and man-hater? Maybe slightly. Who says I'm closing my doors? I may have thought of the possibility of not having to check the "married" box on my personal data sheet, but I still marvel at how true love really feels and how it would knock me off my feet.

I never said never to LOVE, I'm just saying NOT YET...

(From my Friendster blog. Written March 12, 2006)

How to be Demure

Hah! As if I know the answer to that question...And I don't think I'll ever be an authority on that issue. I tried being one several times but sheeesh, my true colors would always find their way out. And I don't even remember when my last attempt was. Potty mouth (pak u, nampucha, bleep bleep *na ka,, "de kwatro" (yes, the macho way of sitting, not the mere crossing of legs), "checking out" girls (including t-backs exposed), "bwahahahaha!!!" ...not "tee hee hee", these are just some of the few things that are so "Loie".

This really isn't too much of a deal for me, but what really worries me is this not so very good (bad actually) non-demure related trait of mine...I often say what I think..to the point of having a foot-in-mouth disease...and most often than not, I shock people. For those who don't know me well, they would certainly think "that's outrageous! so boisterous! so unwomanly!", and for those who I have known for years, or decades even, "blockbuster! hayup ka hahaha! man, that's hilarious!"...Ah that's where the problem is, I tend to forget that not everyone around me nor the people i see or talk to everyday, are my friends. One time I tried to justify it by saying "I'm just being me!", but my sister said, "That's the problem, you are being you!"

Damn...Accepting the fact that you have to be "not yourself" sometimes, is something far from actually doing it...Pffft...and I think I have to do something about it now...





** I wrote this in my Friendster blog on June 17, 2006. So, have I changed?  Bleh.

Fita Effect

Reposting my blog from my Friendster account wriiten July 23, 2006. This entry never fails to make me smile and shake my head.

Once upon a time in a not so far away land, a city girl met a not-so-city boy. They became good friends. Ironically, the boy is always shy and polite, and seems to be so reserved, while the girl is the loud type, has such a potty mouth, and is so much exposed to the devilish minds of both genders. Without any romantic inclinations, not-so-city boy is always willing to do things for her, taking every opportunity to get a good conversation about anything under the sun at anytime of the day (or night). However, no matter how much the girl tries to convince herself that she finally has an "innocent" male friend, she knew that it could be a case of "too good to be true".

One afternoon, the girl was browsing through the boy's cellphone..VOILA! Without being very nosy, she discovered that her number was saved under a guy's name! For heaven's sake! What else could be the reason for that??? Oh well, the girl had no choice but to let out her female instincts. Funny thing was, without even confronting the boy yet who she thought was a rare species of the opposite sex, not-so-city boy did one of the most ridiculous things that the girl has not experienced in her entire life. Instead of pleading guilty or not guilty to the charge of LYING on his "single status", he said:


"Pero bakit naman kailangan pang ibahin ang name mo? May masama ba kung malalaman ng gf ko (if ever na meron nga)? Wla naman dapat itago since nothing unusual ang text mo dba?"

Ay, nag Fita ata sya?! ("bakit ngayon lang ako, d ko ba alam na nakakainis yung ginawa ko? I hate me, I hate me!" *slapping his own face*)

Hahaha!!! That was one moment in the girl's life that she had a good laugh! The smell of victory, men's lying aptitude was once again defeated by the mighty city girl (LoL). The joys of being unsheltered. Ahhh men...as the song goes, "Mula Batanes hanggang Jolo"... Liar=Men, tsk, tsk, they'e everywhere, in all shapes and sizes.
The look on his face? .... priceless!!! The expression on her face? Gleaming with triumph!!!

So how did the story end?
Well, it really hasn't ended yet, in fact the friendship did not end at all (although not-so-city boy was almost into burying himself out of shame for a week).

(Any similarities to persons living or dead is purely coincidental, but any questions maybe entertained)=P

Ang TANGA *bow*

I got this forwarded text message a couple of years ago:

TANGA/ta-'ngah/(noun):

1. Isang taong walang alam kundi  mangolekta ng kaibigan tapos magrereklamong single;

2. Lalaking mahilig mambabae ar nagugulat pa everytime ayaw pagtiwalaan ng mga kabit;

3. Ex mong iniwan ka for some reason then biglang magpaparamdam ulit after some jurassic years;

4. Taong pilit na naghihintay sa taong pilit nagmamahal ng taong hindi pwedeng mapasakanya;

5. Babaeng ilang beses na naloko sa pareparehong dahilan pero di matuto-tuto.

L.S.E.

Reposting my blog from my Friendster account written last October 4, 2006.

What's worse than being almost 30 yrs old?

- Being almost 30 yrs old and unemployed

What's worse than being 30 and unemployed?

- Being almost 30, unemployed, and no clear career path

What's worse than being 30, unemployed and no clear career path?

- Being almost 30, unemployed, no clear career path, and people asking you why you're still single

What's worse than being 30, unemployed, no clear career path, asked why you're still single?

- Being almost 30, unemployed, no clear career path, people asking you why you're still single, and still ask you when are you settling down (eh wala ngang bf, pag-aasawa pa!)

What's worse than being almost 30, unemployed, no clear career path, people asking you why you're still single, and still ask you when are you settling down?

- Being almost 30, unemployed, no clear career path, people asking you why you're still single, and still ask you when are you settling down, and wonder where you can get money to buy a cellphone load

What's worse being almost 30, unemployed, no clear career path, people asking you why you're still single, and still ask you when are you settling down, and wonder where can you get money to buy a cellphone load?

- Being almost 30, unemployed, no clear career path, people asking you
why you're still single and still ask you when are you settling down,
and wonder where you can get money to buy a cellphone load, and still full of zits like a teenager! Damnit!

Pfffft...LSE syndrome! 

= low self-esteem

Lessons From Shoes

Sharing with you excerpts from a forwarded email:

Because there is a "not-so-little" Imelda in me, and that I have
25 pairs of shoes, it is not surprising that
I learn more of life's valuable lessons from shoes. Here's my all
I really need to know I learned from shoes.

THE OVERUSED SHOES

When I went to Davao for Christmas vacation in 2001, I found what I think was the best shoes I've ever had. It was a blue and white slip-ons with a flower on its strap. Margay ang tatak niya. Ang tagal ko na naghanap ng blue na kikay slip-ons at doon ko lang sa Gaisano Davao nahanap iyun. And I bought the shoes for 500 lang! Feeling ko pa, suwerte ako dahil last pair na iyun. And it was my size! Sobrang natuwa ako sa kikay kong sapatos. At napakalambot niya! I wore the shoes everyday because they would match anything...denim, slacks, capri pants, skirt, dress. Gamit ko siya in the office, at the mall, in church, even at the beach! Dahil araw-araw ko siyang nagamit, at nasuot ko na siya sa kung saan, it was expected na wala pang isang taon ay sira na siya. Sabi ko, okay lang. May Margay naman sa Robinsons saka sa Lndmark, siguro naman may ganoong style pa sila. Ngunit napuntahan ko na lahat ng display ng Margay pero wala akong nakitang katulad nang nabili ko sa Davao. Nakadalawang uwi na ako sa Davao at pumupunta ako sa Gaisano, umaasang may makikita akong ganoon klaseng sapatos. Hindi na nga ako naghahangad ng eksaktong ganoon eh. Kahit na kamukha lang o kasing-lambot lang, okay na. Kaso wala.

Iyong kikay blue Margay na slip-ons ko -- na malambot at may naka-angat na bulaklak sa strap, na bagay sa kahit anong damit ko -- ay sira na ngayon. Hindi lang siya sira, nangingitim na sa dumi, at hindi na kayang i-glue ang punit na talampakan. Pero hindi ko pa siya maitapon-tapon. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Alam ko hindi ko na siya maisusuot uli, pero may reminder naman ako na once upon a time, I had a perfect pair of shoes. Hindi ko nga lang inalagaan.

Lesson learned: Kapag nahanap mo na ang sa tingin mo ay perfect na para sa iyo, ingatan at alagaan mo. Huwag mong abusuhin. Kapag nawala, baka wala ka nang mahahanap na kapalit. At habambuhay mo na lang iisipin na "sana, inalaagaan ko
siya."

THE "MAGANDA SIYA PERO MASAKIT" SHOES

May fini-fit ako noon na sapatos sa Celine. Okay lang ang presyo. Maganda ang material. Kikay ang hitsura. At kapag suot ko, nakaka-sexy ng paa. May isang problema nga lang... masakit sa paa. Pero cutie kasi siya eh. Saka on sale. At sadyang matigas ang ulo ko. Kaya ayun, binili ko. Sa umpisa, okay lang naman. Keri ko. Saka masakit naman talaga sa paa ang bagong sapatos. Pero habang lumilipas ang oras, lalong sumasakit. Hindi siya meant sa pangmatagalang suot. Habang suot ko siya, parang gusto kong umiyak sa tuwing humahakbang ako. Pagdating ko ng bahay, puro sugat at galos ang paa ko. At ilang linggo din akong may peklat sa paa dahil sa diyaskeng sapatos na iyun.

Kapag sa umpisa pa lang, alam mo na masakit na sa paa at hindi mo puwedeng suotin ng matagalan, huwag mo nang bilhin. Bakit mo pa itutuloy kung alam mong masasaktan ka lamang kapag sinuot mo?

Parang pakikipag-relasyon din iyan eh. May mga lalake na good on paper, bagay sa iyo, tipo mo nga eh. Ang kaso, panandalian lang siya. "Boylet" lang kasi unavailable siya. Bakit mo pa itutuloy kong alam mong eventually ay masasaktan ka lang? Sana, habang maaga pa, iwasan mo na.

Lesson learned: Kung sa umpisa pa lang, alam mo na masasaktan ka lamang sa bandang huli, huwag mo nang ituloy. Baka mag-iwan pa iyan ng scar na hindi mo na maaaalis kailan man.

THE SHOES THAT GOT AWAY

May nakita akong magandang sandals sa Landmark. Mura lang, less than 500 lang siguro. Kakaiba din siya kasi hindi siya iyong style na makikita mo sa babaeng katabi mo sa MRT. Black and white siya. Polka dots ang strap niya pero hindi cheap ang dating. Ang kikay nga eh. tapos, two inches iyong heels niya. Sinukat ko minsan, ang ganda sa paa! Kaya lang, hindi ko siya binili. Kasi, kakaiba siya eh. Mahirap hanapan ng ka-match na damit at bag. Saka kakabili ko lang kasi ng isang sandals kaya sabi ko, next pay day ko na lang bibilhin ang polka dots na sapatos na yun. Madalas akong dumaan sa Landmark at nakikita ko ang sapatos na gusto ko bilhin pero hindi ko mabili-bili. Ilang pay day na ang dumaan pero hindi ko pa rin siya kinukuha para iuwi. Hanggang sa dumating ang oras na kailangan ko ng isang kikay na sandals na may print. Naisip ko agad ang polka-dots na matagal ko na gusto bilihin. Pero pag-punta ko sa Landmark, wala na siya doon. Naubos na. Ang ending, napabili ako ng ibang printed na sapatos na hindi ko naman talaga gusto pero wala akong choice kasi kailangan ko na nga.

Lesson learned: Kung magpapaligaya sa atin ang isang bagay, seize the day! Sa kaka-delay, baka mawala lang sa atin ito at mauuwi tayong nagse-settle sa hindi naman talaga natin gusto. Mas mahirap pagsisihan ang mga bagay na hindi mo ginawa. Wala na yatang mas masakit pa sa thought na abot-kamay mo na lang, pero pinalampas mo pa.

Sino ba naman mag-aakalang may mapupulot pala akong leksyon sa mga sapatos? Kaya nga panay bili ko eh, para mas marami pa akong matutunan. Sa susunod, I will find lessons from bags naman para ma-justify din kung bakit sandamakmak ang bags ko.

On Lying

Yesterday I received the phone bill and found out there were 24 calls made to an unfamiliar cellphone number. Though it is more than the usual amount, I did not find the total amount outrageous. However, it was the lack of courtesy to inform me that they had to use the phone that would cost more than the local calls that surprised me. Worse, when I asked who made the calls, everyone in the house denied it.  I checked the dates and times when the calls were made and I immediately recalled the number of times I saw our helper use the phones on those specific times. I tried to ask them once again, I got the same answer. So the little surprise that I had turned into disgust. I hate it when people lie. And so I did what I usually do whenever I'm sure someone's lying. As usual I succeeded. How I did it I don't need to elaborate because it's quite easy actually and doesn't need too much effort. It's the "how to make him admit" that I knew would not be easy or well, I thought wouldn't be easy.

This afternoon I did not consume myself on the lying incident anymore because I wanted my Sunday to be a relaxed one. Although of course, the "sutil"/mischievous person in me still injected sarcasm on the topic probably once or twice. It was during dinner that my mom opened the topic again, and like mother like daughter, she did the "panunutil" that time. Lo and behold! The culprit finally spoke. To his surprise, we didn't get mad. We just lectured him a little and just made fun of him. It all ended with a good laugh. Amidst all these, not even once did I feel anger. Yes he lied and it's bad but I've seen and heard worse. And I think I've even met the boy who cried wolf not just once. The one thing that made it lighter is the fact that out helper finally admitted his fault.

You see, lying is a basic human nature, I heard that somewhere. Who's not guilty of it? However, it is the reason, gravity and frequency that should be noted. Here's the thing, we lie to avoid conflict among people, we tell people with low self-esteem they look fine but in truth you don't really like his outfit, that's fine. But to lie just to save one's face? I find that abhorring especially when you already have all the pieces of evidence, laid the cards and still hear a vehement denial. Some people say they don't lie, they just edit or leave out stories. Does it really make a difference? I don't think so. If you're guilty, face the consequences and that's it. If it means prison terms, talk to your lawyer, but that's a different story. But believe it or not, it is that simple.

As for our helper, I've forgiven him even if i have to pay a couple of hundreds more for this month's bill. I'm just happy that he had the courage to tell the truth. It's the honesty that actually made the big difference. (Trust me, honesty will make everything simpler).

(Written February 22, 2009 -  from my Friendster blog) 

Waiting

It was already 10pm and still raining hard the other night. Before I got off from the FX coming from work, I thought of taking the pedicab to avoid the mud sticking on my shoes and my pants from getting dirty especially that there's a road construction going on in our subdivision. However there were no pedicabs that time and there was one person in line. Therefore, I decided to go to a drugstore first to buy something, hoping that afterwards,  there would be an available ride and no more person in line. Unfortunately, when I went back to the waiting area, the person is still there waiting and there was no pedicab in sight. So I waited for a bit...but standing there for just 3 minutes, already felt like waiting for ages. I asked myself, "how long should I wait?" Two minutes...okay, I'm done waiting! So I started walking.

As I held my umbrella on my right hand, and cursing the ongoing construction, my left hand was also clutching my pants so that it won't get wet and dirty. Suddenly I saw a pedicab coming. Again I asked myself, "should I still take the ride?". But i told myself, "what the heck, I'm halfway there! Besides, a poor guy has been waiting in line for a long time." So I continued walking. However, as I get closer to my home, the muddier and more slippery the street has become. I couldn't save my shoes anymore. It was already full of my mud and I was starting to feel water coming in, but I couldn't do anything. When I finally reached home, I just gave out a big sigh. My shoes -- all messed up.

That night, I asked myself a couple of times if I should have waited. If I did not settle for walking, maybe my shoes would still look good. But then again, if I waited, would there still be a pedicab for me after the one that was meant for the person who was there longer than I did? Wouldn't it be too late already if I still waited?

Sometimes it pays off to just wait. Sometimes it's risky to just settle for what we think is better than nothing. Clock is ticking, I know. But the next time it rains, maybe it's safer to wait.

(Written  May 9, 2009 - from my Friendster blog.)